I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Randomize