That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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