I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
