Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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