I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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