Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
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