Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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