apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
