erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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