im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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