Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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