do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize