How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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