So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
