I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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