i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Come see our sink grown plant.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Randomize
