Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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