If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
