i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Randomize
