We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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