I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
