We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
