think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Randomize
