May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
