all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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