I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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