I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
