peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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