he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
