I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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