I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
