i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
