drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
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