You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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