he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
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Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
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It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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