yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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