our cab driver is having phone sex.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
