No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
