Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
