My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
