Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
You did what with his pubic hair?
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