Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
