WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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