...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
