Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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