Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Just pee around me
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
