tell your sister to shave her snatch
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
