Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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