Im at strip club and am horny
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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