He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
false alarm, still single
Randomize