Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
