yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
