I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
